Breaking Maura
by inhummus
Summary: Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's waist, holding her tightly as her body shook. "What am I going to do?" she cried breathlessly against Jane's neck. / Narcotics detective Jane Rizzoli just found a weakness to penetrate Paddy Doyle's gang - his daughter, Maura. His arrest guarantees her a promotion to homicide, but what happens when Jane begins to fall for the CI she plans to use?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This idea had been gnawing at me for a while. I love the idea of an (even more) bull-headish Jane, desperate to do anything to get into Homicide. I know there are a couple of variations of a Maura Doyle storyline, but I wanted to try something that still felt authentic to the Maura we know. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Stretching her arms above her head, Jane sighed in frustration. No movement. She pawed at the open bag of chips between the car's console before tossing them back in her partner's lap.

"I'm going to lunch," she grumbled in defeat to Ricky.

"You're going to miss all the action," He joked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hands.

Jane forced a laugh as she got out of the car, but cursed the moment she closed the door. Another week and nothing to show for herself.

Jane knew she was better than stake outs. The department should be using her to question suspects and put together a case, but because of her age and sex, she would be stuck at what just barely beat out desk duty until she proved them otherwise. Jane angrily kicked a beer can that had rolled towards her. She was positive she had heard kids reference that Pete stood at this corner to deal.

The beer can rolled back towards her after hitting the curb. This time, Jane crushed it with her boots, trying to take out some of her frustration. Pete, a red-headed smartass, had been eluding her for weeks. She and Ricky had had multiple run-ins with him, and Pete had always seemed to slip through their fingers, both literally and figuratively. His fast talking and quick feet had gotten him out of previous scrapes with other officers, and she knew if she could bring him in, the Narcotics squad would finally start taking her seriously.

She rounded another corner, trying to remember exactly where the Chinese restaurant was before doing a double take. _Was that actually him?_ Jane crouched down behind a parked car and squinted, trying to see if the skinny red headed figure was Pete. Jane's eyes widened as she realized not only was it him - he was about to make a deal. She reached into her back pocket and fumbled for a moment with her phone before bringing it up to take a picture as the drugs and money exchanged hands. Her face broke out into a smile, excited to imagine Pete try to weasel his way out of photographic evidence. She weighed her options for a moment, knowing it was stupid to approach Pete alone, but she wasn't about to let him squirm away yet again. She wanted this bust. She needed it.

Right as she stepped forward, Jane's phone went off, causing Pete to look over his shoulder. His eyes went wide as he spotted her, and before Jane could shout at him, he slid through a broken gate and sprinted into the alley to his right.

Jane cursed and began running, chasing Pete over a fence as he led her towards the warehouses by the dock. She ignored her pounding heart as she turned the corner, realizing that she was beginning to gain on him. Just as she was only a few yards away, Pete cut sideways and disappeared through a door into one of the warehouses.

Jane hesitated for just a moment before throwing caution to the wind. She pulled open the door, drawing her gun. The door shut behind her, throwing the large warehouse into darkness. Jane slowed down, trying desperately to hear where Pete had gone, but the only sound was her own staggered breathing. She began to panic, quickly turning left and right, unsure of where to point her gun in the darkness.

She heard a scuffle from behind her, and before Jane had time to turn around, she felt a blunt force against her ribcage. She gasped, trying to catch her breath, throwing her arms out widely to try to place him in the darkness. She felt her elbow make contact with Pete's head and adjusted to point the gun in his direction.

There was a brief struggle before Jane's shot went off, his body falling onto hers. Jane grimaced as she tried to push him off of her, the pain from Pete's initial blow beginning to creep in.

"Was that a gun shot?" Jane heard a voice shout in the distance.

Scrambling to get up, Jane heard heavy footsteps as more voices joined in. In a haze of panic, she ran to the nearest shipping crate, trying to find cover. Jane heard the doors to the side of the warehouse open and tried to steady her erratic breathing, grimacing as the pain in her ribs intensified.

"Is that Pete? Is he dead?" another voice called out.

Jane inched her way behind a shelf, trying to get a better glimpse. She could make out nearly twenty men surrounding the body, guns drawn. Was Pete actually a part of something bigger?

"Search the perimeter. They couldn't have gotten far," said a gravelly voice.

Jane gasped as she made out the source of the voice, her excitement forgoing the pain in her ribs. After studying his tapes for months, there wasn't a doubt in her mind that the shadowy figure standing over the body was that of Paddy Doyle.

Her mind raced. Pete had led her to Paddy Doyle, one of the most feared drug lords in the south side of Boston. No one had spotted him for years.

Crawling to a nearby shelving unit, Jane crept between two boxes, tucking her legs in to try to hide herself completely out of view. She held her breath as the she heard footsteps down the aisle next to her, fearing that her beating heart would give away her location.

Jane heard a strangled noise from the middle of the room. She lifted her head slightly to look over the box shielding her from sight to try to make out what was going on.

_Shit. He's alive._

Jane chewed the inside of her cheek. If Pete was alive, he could identify Jane. She -

"Is he alive? Should we bring in the doc?" asked one of the men in a panic.

"Not until we get the okay." Paddy said, his voice still emotionless.

"All clear," echoed out from different corners of the warehouse moments later.

Jane watched as Paddy nodded to one of the men, who picked up his cellphone and made a call. Jane closed her eyes and prayed that the doctor wouldn't get there in time to save him.

Moments later, a figure appeared in the lit doorway. Jane could only make out a shadow. It was a woman.

Jane shifted as she strained her eyes. _Is that the doctor?_

Jane squinted and brought up a hand to shield her eyes as the light flickered on, straining to make out who the woman was as her eyes slowly adjusted to the light.

The woman's golden hair shone brightly in the harsh fluorescents. She moved with an effortless grace towards the body, a dark purple trench jacket wrapped tightly against her body, as if she knew how many eyes were following her.

She tucked the trench coat under her as she bent down to crouch near the body, quickly unbuttoning Pete's shirt.

"Is he going to make it?" One of the men asked, breaking the silence.

The doctor didn't answer. Instead, she opened a bag and pulled out a bottle with clear liquid. Jane jaw dropped as she watched the woman splash what must be alcohol over the man's chest and, without hesitation, drew a blade against his skin.

The man cried out in pain and began writhing. The doctor took something out of her bag and said softly, "Bite this."

The man made a strangled moan as she set back to work on his chest. Just a few seconds later, she paused and turned to Paddy behind her.

"He needs to go to the hospital." She said quickly. "There's nothing more I can do."

That appeared to be all Paddy needed to her. He nodded, stepping closer to Pete's writhing form, and shot him in the head.

Jane looked over at the doctor, who had quickly turned her head away, her eyes still closed tightly as if trying to rid herself of the memory. She couldn't be more than thirty years old.

"Maura," Paddy said, offering a hand for the woman to stand up. He then lowered his voice and leaned in. Jane could just barely make out what he was saying. "Why don't you stop at Central Grounds to clear your head? I'm sorry you had to see that; I didn't want him to suffer."

Jane felt as if the entire world was coming to a stop. Maura... as in Maura Doyle? Jane knew the story of Paddy Doyle's love affair with a well-to-do doctor. The whole city did. The story was only revealed when the doctor lost the baby just three days after being born. Jane had even seen the tombstone.

Jane's heart began to race as she realized what she had just found: the weak link to Paddy Doyle.

Paddy cleared his throat, commanding attention. "Clearly Pete was followed here, which means this place is no longer safe. I expect you all to be packed up and out of here within the hour. I'll talk to James to figure out our next location."

Jane held her breath as the men filed past her towards the side door. The moment the doors clanged shut, she bolted towards the entrance she came through, trying to ignore the searing pain from where she was hit earlier.

This was it – her big break. If she could hand Doyle to Cavanaugh, she would be set. Youngest woman ever promoted to homicide. Jane couldn't help but break out in a smile. The only thing she needed to do was to find out their next location.

She slowly walked back to where the police car was parked and found Ricky leaning against the hood of the car, eating a hot dog.

"'zoli," he said before swallowing. "There you are. I was beginning to get worried."

Jane looked at the hot dog in his hand and cocked her eye brow. "Apparently."

"Well, man's gotta eat. Where have you been?" he asked, crumpling up the wrapper.

"I caught Pete dealing," she responded flatly.

"Nice! Hate that little shit. Did you get the money shot?"

"I shot him," she said, opening the car door.

"What? Oh jeez, Rizzoli. The paper work we're going to have to fill out…"

Jane gritted her teeth. She couldn't wait to move out of Narcotics. People like Ricky were a dime a dozen in the division. She needed this win. It was going to be her ticket to Homicide.

* * *

"You're sure it was him, Rizzoli?" Cavanaugh asked, rubbing his forehead.

"Positive. And get this – his daughter is alive."

"What? The daughter buried at First Memorial?"

"The very one. Maura Doyle. I think she's my way in," Jane explained. "I don't think she's stomaching the family business so well. We can use her."

Cavanaugh closed his eyes, as if replaying Jane's words in his head. "So they're no longer staying at the warehouse?"

"No, Doyle figured it had been compromised. We should get a team down there to swipe for prints. But if I can talk to the daughter, I think we can bust the entire operation. Not just get Doyle, but figure out who all of his men are. Everyone he's got working on the inside," Jane said, her excitement building. "This could be big. For both of us."

"You think we can get her to be a CI? Betray her own father?" Cavanaugh asked.

"I don't know. Either way, I don't want to spook her. Let me talk to her – let me get her to trust me."

Cavanaugh sighed, but eventually nodded his head. "So you lost where the men were. What makes you think you're going to find the girl again?"

"Stakeout Central Grounds," Jane said quickly. "I heard Doyle mention it to her – the way he described it, it sounds like she must go there a lot. Kind of like a safe haven from all of it."

"And I assume you think you're the best detective to win her over?"

"What – yeah! Come on sir, this is my case."

"It is. But we can't afford to blow this. And Rizzoli, you're not exactly known for your warm heart."

Jane scoffed and folded her arms tightly across her chest. "Trust me. I can do it."

Cavanaugh nodded, as if thinking everything over one more time. "You can stakeout Central Grounds for a week. If we don't see her, I'm putting you back up for active cases."

Jane nodded, trying to hold back her excitement. She grabbed her keys and set straight to work.

* * *

Jane rubbed her eyes and yawned. It had been four days, and still no sighting of Paddy's daughter. She clenched her jaw at the thought of losing this lead. Jane was sure she would catch the girl here eventually, but she was running out of time. What if their new location meant that Maura had found a new coffee shop to hang out in? What if she –

Jane's fingers clutched the wheel. She spotted a blonde head walking towards the door in a floral dress and high heels. Was that her? _Yes!_

Frantically grabbing her things, Jane stumbled out of the unmarked car and headed inside, attempting to casually walk in behind her. Jane did a quick rundown, trying to figure out what she could use as an ice breaker. How was it that during all that time in the car, Jane hadn't thought this through? It was obvious that Maura was into fashion, but Jane knew she couldn't even fake a conversation about that. In Maura's hand was a large text book.

"Bit of light reading?" Jane asked, surprising herself at how quickly and dumbly she jumped into the conversation.

Maura turned to look at her, confused at being addressed. Jane felt pressure in her chest when their eyes locked. Maura was… gorgeous. Her red lips turned upwards into a smile when she realized that Jane was talking to her. Her already rosy cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink as she looked down at the large text book and back at Jane.

"Oh – no, I…" Maura stammered.

"Next," shouted the barista.

Maura smiled to apologize for having to divert her attention as she gave her coffee order. Jane cursed inwardly at the broken moment. She gave her own order and tried again as they waited for their drinks.

"So," Jane said, craning her neck to read the title of the book clutched in Maura's arms. "Anatomy? Are you at BCU Med?"

"Oh, no," Maura said, smiling at the floor. She clutched the book tighter. "Just a hobby, I suppose."

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Wait, what? That's insane."

Maura finally met Jane's eyes, as if timidly trying to tell the tone of Jane's reaction. "I find the human body fascinating. The way it fights and repairs itself is extraordinary."

Jane smiled. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but it definitely wasn't this. She certainly didn't expect the daughter of a mobster to be so articulate and poised. Paddy's gang members referred to her as the doctor… was all of this self-taught?

Jane's curiosity got the better of her. As they both reached for their drinks, she went with her gut.

"Oh man, it's packed in here. Only one table open."

Maura withdrew her gaze from Jane to follow her nod towards the empty table. "Oh no, well I can always-"

"What? No, you were here first –"

"But you spotted it first."

Jane smirked. "Any thoughts on sharing? I know you're looking to study up, so I swear I'll be quiet."

Maura broke out into a smile. "Of course."

Jane held out her hand to let Maura lead the way, and smiled as she watched Maura clumsily trip over someone's bag. It was – adorable. How was this Paddy Doyle's daughter? How did she cut open a man's chest earlier this week? She was fascinating. And like that, Jane was hooked.


	2. Chapter 2

Jane rounded the table to sit in the open chair across from Maura, dumbfounded at how quickly this had escalated. She had hoped to say a word or two and then leave. Enough to leave an impression, while keeping enough distance between what she was really after. She wanted the exchange to feel natural and unplanned; to grow the relationship from a few words to sentences over the course of the next few weeks, hoping Maura would unknowingly let her guard down around Jane. Instead she had plummeted head first. She grimaced as she sat down, the pain in her ribs still very sore, and wiped her hands on her jeans, trying to see what she could come up with.

"So last question I swear... you have to be doing this in order to one day go into medical school, right? Or at least something in the healthcare profession? Because doing this voluntarily is insanity. Very impressive insanity."

Maura blushed again, her eyes cast downwards and she fidgeted with the worn book cover. "No, just for fun. I figure it might come in handy one day."

"You know just the other day, I thought to myself, 'Gee, this seems like a good time for brain surgery.'" Jane said with a smile.

Maura pursed her lips, trying not to laugh. "It's not brain surgery! Just basic anatomy."

"Ahh right. Totally basic." Jane chuckled, playing with the sleeve of her coffee cup. "Ok, I said I would shut up. I'll keep my promise."

Jane's hand clutched the small GPS tracker in her pocket. She hadn't planned to get the opportunity to use it during this initial meet up, but she was already so close. Maura's purse was resting against the leg of the table.

"No, no, it's fine. It's really nice actually. Most of the people I hang out with don't find it interesting in the least. They roll their eyes whenever I try to share something."

Jane stomach tightened in excitement. Was it going to be this easy to get her to talk about her personal life? She almost felt like she was walking into a trap. Still, she pressed on.

"They're probably just too stupid to realize how awesome it is. Man, my mom would have killed for a doctor in the family. Or at least a makeshift one anyway," Jane finished with a smile.

"Oh, I'm so rude. I've been talking all about myself... what is it you do?"

"Me?" Jane racked her mind, trying to think of the most believable thing to say. "Oh, I uh - I'm unfortunately following in my father's footsteps at the moment."

Jane could tell she struck a chord. Maura' eyebrows lifted, clearly painfully aware that Jane's family business was a far cry from her own.

"Dad's a plumber. Super glamorous, right?" Jane sighed, hoping that Maura would read it as a sense of remorse. "Just wanted to do right by my pops, you know? Support the family. But it's not really what I want."

"What is it you want?" Maura asked, her voice small.

Jane scratched the back of her neck and shrugged. "That's the problem. I was never good at anything, so this sort of seemed like the thing to do."

"Well it's a very worthy trade," Maura replied, matter of factly. "I think the most rewarding professions out there are probably the least glamorous."

Jane smiled, taking a sip of coffee. If she hadn't seen her in the warehouse a few days ago with her own eyes, she would never be convinced that this woman could be the product of Paddy Doyle. There was such a softness about her, holding this light and fascination behind her eyes in everything she talked about. But Jane could see that it was also clouded by a darkness, as if she had been told her entire life to keep quiet and stay in the shadows. To blend in. The gratitude that she showed Jane from asking just a few simple questions was astounding.

Jane needed to get a hold of herself. She was here for one mission - find Paddy Doyle's location. Again, she brought her hand to the pocket that held the GPS tracker. As Maura reached for her cup to take a sip, Jane pushed out her hand, hoping to drop it quickly in Maura's purse before she noticed.

Jane's leg bumped Maura's under the table as she attempted to quickly make her move.

"Oh, god - sorry. Just a little cramped in here." Jane blushed, scooting her chair back, annoyed at how badly she mishandled and rushed the drop off. "I'm Jane by the way," Jane said, offering out her empty right hand. "Figure I should introduce myself if I'm going to kick you."

Maura laughed and shook her hand. "Maura. Very nice to meet you, Jane." She hesitated for a moment, as if deciding how much she wanted to share.

Jane did her best to wait, hoping that Maura wouldn't back down. She made another comment about her family, hoping she could get Maura to divulge some more. To her luck, Maura bit the bait.

"My father doesn't understand my interest in the sciences." she said with a sad smile. "He doesn't understand where I got it from."

"Oh, yeah? What's he do?" Jane wanted to kick herself for jumping to the question so quickly. She couldn't seem to stop herself.

Maura smiled weakly. "He's in waste management." - Jane managed to turn a snort of laughter into a cough at the thinly veiled Soprano's reference - "Just as glamorous, you could say."

"Does he mind you trying out something else?"

"He's a bit... overprotective. Just very concerned. Thinks of the world as a cruel place, you know?"

Jane couldn't help but raise her eyebrows at that comment._ Paddy Doyle claiming the world to be cruel? Man, what kind of shit was he feeding her? She didn't actually believe that, did she?_ She was clearly too smart to buy that load of bull.

"And what do you think?" Jane asked, raising her eyes to meet Maura's.

"I - I think it can be extraordinary. I've seen a lot of terrible things, but I just want to experience it all. Leave no stone unturned. I want to stick my toes in the sand, spend hours at a museum, learn ballet. There's just so much out there that I want to explore."

Jane was taken aback. "You mean to tell me you never had to go to any of the museums for school? I feel like I had to write at least three book reports on those field trips."

Maura gave a small smile and shrugged. "Home schooled."

A loud clap of thunder stirred Jane from her thoughts.

"Oh man, I forgot it's supposed to pour." Jane said, peering through the store's window.

"Oh! I should really go. I want to try to make it back before it starts." Maura said, gathering her things.

Jane nodded. She got up quickly and winced at the pain in her side.

"Are you alright?" Maura asked as she swung her purse over her shoulder.

"Huh? Oh yeah, fine." Jane bit her lip. It was now or never. She left her hand out to let Maura lead the way. She stepped closer, hoping Maura didn't sense her, and took the GPS tracker out of her pocket, carefully dropping it in the outer zipper of Maura's purse.

Maura stopped short at the door, sending Jane toppling into her.

"Oh shit, sorry! God I'm a mess. I didn't spill your coffee on you, did I?" Jane asked, holding her breath, hoping that Maura didn't suspect anything.

"No, no, it's okay." Maura said, wiping her napkin against her chest. Jane felt her face flush as she watched Maura blot the front of her blouse.

"Oh god, hold on. Let me grab something." Jane said, her voice slightly higher than normal, as she rushed to grab paper towels. "How can I make it up to you?"

"Oh, it's no problem. Nothing a little soap and water won't fix."

Jane had to pry her eyes away to stop staring.

"I don't want to be too forward... can I offer you a ride home? Hate for you to get caught in the rain."

For the first time, Maura froze up. It didn't go unnoticed by Jane.

"Oh, no, no. I'm fine. I - um, I'm just around the corner."

"You're sure?" Jane asked as she held open the door.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you though." Maura said with a nervous smile.

"Well here, let me give you my umbrella. I won't need it."

"Oh, I couldn't-"

Jane waved her off and jogged to her car across the street as the first rain drops started to come down. She dug around the backseat and grabbed the yellow umbrella that was always rolling around as she drove. Holding the umbrella with one hand, she covered her head with the other to shield herself from the rain fall, quickly making her way back to the awning that Maura stood under.

"You're hurt," Maura said matter of factly, her eyes immediately focusing on Jane's side.

"What? No, I'm fine."

"I noticed it earlier, and again when you pulled up your arm. You've been carrying your weight differently to compensate."

"Oh, well it's not a big deal. Just a little bruise." Jane said, handing the umbrella over. Maura ignored it.

"May I see?" Maura asked, her hand already beginning to reach out.

"I don't-" Jane started but froze when Maura pulled up her shirt. Jane quickly glanced around the sidewalk as her shirt was hiked up. "Woah." she breathed out, her stomach tensing.

Maura all but ignored her, gasping at the large purple and blue bruising that covered most of Jane's left side. Her fingers brushed over Jane's skin as she leaned in closer.

"Jane, this is terrible. You probably have a bruised rib. Have you seen a doctor?"

Jane backed away and pushed down her shirt, her face flushed. She exhaled finally, praising her luck at forgetting to put on a wire this morning.

"It's no big deal. It'll clear up in a few days. I've been through worse."

Maura's eyes shot up to Jane's in a look of concern. "You've been more bruised than this being a plumber?"

Jane cursed inwardly at her ramblings.

"I'm just a huge klutz, that's all. Could never wear those heels," she said with a laugh, hoping it came off as normal. "I mean you saw me earlier with the coffee," Jane said, gesturing to Maura's stained blouse. "I'm hopeless."

Maura shot her a sideways glance. "How did you get this one? How long has the brushing looked like this?"

"Uh, just wasn't paying attention and tripped. Can't take me anywhere," Jane laughed again, at an even higher pitch this time. Jane knew it was time to go. The last thing she wanted to do was attempt to lie about anatomy in front of the doctor. "Anyway, here's the umbrella."

Jane pushed the umbrella out to Maura again, and Maura grabbed it, clearly not fully satisfied with Jane's answer.

"Thank you." Maura said, as she finally pulled her eyes away from Jane and focused on the umbrella in her hand. "How can I find you again to return this to you?"

Jane clenched her jaw. She knew one of the most important things to do when going undercover was to let the target make the first move.

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's a shitty, old umbrella."

"Oh no, I insist." Maura hesitated, as if considering handing Jane her number. But Jane knew she had to be better trained than to hand over a potential GPS tracking device to a stranger. She was positive Paddy would have made sure she was always on alert. "Do you come here often? I stop by all the time to get some reading done. Maybe I could give it to you tomorrow?"

Jane cracked a smile. "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the positive feedback. Glad to see so many of you are "hooked." ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Jane sat in the car, somehow winded from the whole experience. She had gone undercover before, but never had she felt so distracted. She gripped the steering wheel as all of the conversations from the last hour swirled in her head, nervously playing over the last five minutes as she shifted the car into gear and pulled away. She rubbed her eyebrow and cringed as she remembered Maura's doubtful face as she tried to explain the bruising.

Jane's mind jumped to Maura's fingers running up her shirt and bit the inside of her cheek as her lips turned upwards. So much for an incognito drop off.

Jane pulled into the Boston police station and made her way up to the Narcotics floor. As always, her eyes focused on Homicide, just one floor up. She grinned at the thought of handing Paddy Doyle over to Cavanaugh. It would be Boston's biggest drug bust of the century. The accolades would come pouring in, and she would be promoted, the youngest female homicide detective in Boston's history.

Her daydream ended as she sat down in front of her computer, eager to see where Maura led her. She pulled up the tracking software and bit her lip in excitement; Maura looked to have brought Jane exactly to Doyle's new hiding spot. Jane could see the dot in what looked to be the back warehouse of an electronics store. Jane started writing down the name so that the analysts could begin tracking whether the store was being used as a drug front.

"Rizzoli?"

"Yes, sir," Jane said quickly, attempting to straighten up her desk as Lieutenant Cavanaugh walked by.

"I see you're back in the office. Don't tell my you gave up already."

"No, sir." Jane said, trying to contain her excitement. "I met with the target. I've got the hideout location right now."

Cavanaugh eyebrows raised in surprise. Bending down to get a look at Jane's computer screen, he whistled. "Look at that. Well I'm definitely impressed. You ready to send in troops? You think Doyle is definitely there?"

"I think he's there." Jane said, bringing her chair around to face Cavanaugh. She knew she needed to choose her words carefully. "But I think going in now is a wasted opportunity, sir."

Cavanaugh leaned back against the edge of Jane's desk, rubbing his chin. "Is that so?"

Jane nodded. "Having them at this electronics store only proves to me that Doyle's got men all over the city. I think if we catch him, all we have is him running his operations out of jail. Nothing changes. But if I can get his daughter to trust me, I think we can take the entire thing down. We need to know who he's got working in the prisons. Who's working in shipping." Jane paused, hoping she could reel Cavanaugh in. "Who's working at the BPD."

Cavanaugh nodded, scratching the back of his neck. "And you think we'll spook her if we go in now."

Jane readjusted in her chair, trying to make herself seem bigger. "Exactly. I think... I don't think she wants the life she has, but it's all she's known. If I can get her to open up to me, I think we get everyone he's got working on the inside. It could be huge."

Cavanaugh brought a hand up to loosen his tie, and nodded. "It could be. But what if you can't gain her trust? What if you scare her and she tells her dear old dad before we send in the SWAT team? A lot of kids don't agree with their parent's choices. Doesn't mean they would hand them in for it."

"Well, yes, but -"

"And it sounds like the girl's never been out on her own before. What's she going to do when daddy's locked up and she doesn't have his cash coming in?"

Jane found herself getting flustered, though not for Cavanaugh attacking her logic. "She's incredibly smart. And I can tell her heart's in the right place. She's kind... and gentle."

Cavanaugh eyes widened. He leaned in towards Jane and lowered his voice. "You better watch yourself Rizzoli. You're starting to sound -"

"Attached? Emotional?" Jane spat back, her anger rising. "Very original, sir."

"Rizzoli, you can't-"

Jane pursed her lips, knowing she was out of line. She clenched her jaw, and tried to push past the rising frustration. "I apologize, sir. I know you're looking out for my best interests and the case. But I'm telling you - if we move in early, this whole thing will be a wash."

"Paddy Doyle behind bars is fruitless?"

"Nothing stops. This thing is bigger than him. He'll be running the whole thing from his cell. We can't lose this opportunity."

"You're willing to claim your career on this? Because when word gets out that we have Doyle's exact location and failed to act, the both of us are out on the streets."

Jane paused for a moment. Was this worth everything? Was this worth what she had been dreaming of since she was twelve years old? Despite everything she told Cavanaugh, was she doing this for the right reasons? Was there this small piece in the back of her mind trying to extend the story, all so that she could get to know Maura a little bit better?

Jane pursed her lips, as her stomach twisted at the thought. No, she told herself. Whatever interest and fascination she felt for the girl was symptomatic of what she was attempting to do - gather data to shut down Doyle's operation. The girl was a means to an end. Nothing more.

"Yes, sir. I can close this. I will."

* * *

Jane's eyes unfocused as she looked at her laptop again. No movement. Cavanaugh had given her one more week to get Maura to talk, but Jane hadn't seen movement for two days. Reclining her seat, she sighed. If she wasn't able to talk to Maura again, Cavanaugh was going in. Jane raked her hand through her hair at the thought of being so close. She just needed to gain Maura's trust and convince her -

There she was! Jane spotted her yellow umbrella dangling from Maura's wrist before she disappeared into the coffee shop. Jane shot a look back at her laptop screen and groaned at her own stupidity. Maura had switched purses.

Cursing at herself, Jane grabbed her things and waited a moment or two, not wanting to head in immediately after. She counted down the seconds before saying "screw it" and walked into the coffee shop.

"Jane?"

Jane whipped her head around and smiled when she saw Maura waving at her.

"Hey," Jane said, attempting to feign surprise.

"Hi," Maura responded breathlessly as she made her way through the crowded coffee shop. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Yeah?" Jane said with a grin.

"Yes, your umbrella," Maura said as she brought her wrist up. "I wasn't able to stop by yesterday to return it. I hope you didn't wait long."

"Oh," Jane said, shaking her head. "Right, yeah. No problem at all."

Jane silently look the umbrella, racking her mind of things to say. _Jesus, pull yourself together. _"Hope it came in helpful," she said, trying to stall.

"Oh, yes! It really started pouring. I would have been drenched without it. I really can't thank you enough. Can I buy you a cup of coffee in return?"

"The coffee is probably more expensive than the umbrella," Jane said with a laugh. "But I've got some time to kill if you want to keep me busy." Jane's stomach twisted. God, she was coming on strong. Jane wiped her clammy hands on the side of her jeans. "That is, if you're not about to leave."

Maura cracked a smile. "I've got time."

And the rest of Jane's afternoon flew by. She could feel herself becoming more and more captivated by the girl. Despite revealing so little about her life, she had so much to say. Jane attempted to subtly bring up her own parents again in hope that Maura would reveal more. From what she understood, it sounded like Maura's only two spots were the coffee shop and the library.

"My father just likes to know where I am at all times," Maura tried to explain. Her eyes fell down to the table, clearly embarrassed.

"Well it sounds like he and my ma would get along great." Jane said, trying to make light of the moment. "Biggest busy body you'll ever meet."

Maura smiled and brought her gaze back up to Jane, happy she didn't push her.

"So, I was going to ask, but maybe you wouldn't be able to..." Jane started.

"What?" Maura asked, her eyes widening with excitement.

"The Boston Museum of Science has this new exhibit, all about the heart. I thought it seemed right up your alley... and you mentioned having never been to one of our fine museums..." Jane trailed off with a smile.

Maura's face broke out into a grin. "I saw an ad for it on the bus... I - I suppose I could go."

"What pops doesn't know won't kill him right?" Jane said as she gave Maura a playful nudge. "Are you free tomorrow? Maybe around 3:00?"

Maura nodded enthusiastically. "Yes. Yes, I'll be there."

* * *

Maura stood a few feet away, sandwiched between two children, all of whom were pumping feverishly at the hands-on model heart table to simulate blood flow. Jane couldn't help but smile. Every minute Jane spent with Maura, she uncovered a new side to her. Her child-like excitement was infectious. Maura had spent much of the afternoon breathlessly trying to explain to Jane the inner workings of the aortic pump.

Jane caught very little of it. She was finding herself continually distracted whenever Maura would lean in and whisper in her ear.

"Jane!" Maura called out eagerly, practically skipping as she headed back towards Jane. "What a wonderful example. This metaphor is such a brilliant way to explain the intricacies of the human heart to young minds. So much easier to tackle than a textbook."

Jane laughed and walked with Maura back towards the stairs up to the lobby. She had decided earlier that day as she waited for Maura on the steps of the Museum that she was going to tell her today. Despite repeating "she's just a means to an end" to herself time and time again, the guilt of Maura's trust eating away at her the moment she left the coffee shop yesterday. She only had four more days before Cavanaugh made his move, and she had to make sure Maura was out of harm's way before the time came.

"Maura," she started as they made their way back up from the basement's exhibit. "Listen, I -"

Jane stopped as a litany of sounds echoed out from Maura's purse.

"Oh my goodness," Maura said as she reached into her purse for her phone.

"Ahh, yeah. The reception is really crummy down there -"

"Oh my god it's so late! I had no idea." Maura exclaimed as she worriedly looked at the missed phone calls and messages from the afternoon. "Oh, Jane, I've got to go. I'm so sorry!"

Maura slammed her phone back into her purse and began running up the steps. Jane hurried to keep up with her.

"Wait - I - when will I see you again?" Jane called out as Maura hurried towards the door. "Do you - do you want to exchange numbers?"

"I - I can't. I'm sorry, Jane. I have to go."

* * *

**A/N**: I am so, so sorry for the wait. Life got ahead of me. Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I love hearing what y'all think. Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I know, I know, I hate me too. This story has been killing me. I went back and cleaned up the first few chapters, so hopefully it flows a bit better. Thanks for sticking with me! Your kind words definitely keep me going!

* * *

Jane rubbed the back of her neck and groaned as her cell buzzed. Cavanaugh. She was just inside the doors of the library, planning to give one last hail mary pass to find Maura. Her time was up.

Jane snuck back out, attempting to distance herself so that the large man smoking outside couldn't hear her conversation. "Rizzoli."

"You're making progress?" Cavanaugh asked, his exhaustion evident through the phone.

"Yes, sir," Jane replied, trying to decide how Cavanaugh would respond to finding out that she hadn't had contact with Maura in days. "Our last conversation was good. Really strong. But she's on a tight leash, so it's hard to -"

"Rizzoli, cut to the chase. You'll either have her word by tomorrow, or we go in. I can't just sit on this information. We need to take action. And if you spook her -"

"She's a good person. She'll want to do what's right," Jane finished stubbornly.

"This is what I was afraid of, Rizzoli... you can't get attached to a CI. You put yourself in -"

"I know, sir," Jane said quickly, clenching her teeth. "She's nothing more than a means to an end. But if I could just have a few more days, so I could really gain her-"

"A week's a week. You have until tomorrow."

Jane hung up and cursed. Her last moments with Maura at the museum had gone so well, so why was she nowhere to be found? Maura hadn't been to the café in days; the tracker remained stagnant at the warehouse.

Rolling her shoulders back, Jane headed into the library with a new sense of purpose. She needed to be proactive. She could feel the promotion to Homicide slipping between her fingertips.

She had walked through two more floors of the library, her nerves building as each aisle led to a dead end. And then there she was, tucked in a corner of the non-fiction section, beautiful as ever. Maura's hair was pulled back in a bun, a pencil resting against her lips as she stared intently at a large textbook. Jane meant to stay quiet, to let Maura see her rather than the other way around, but her excitement as always got the best of her.

"Hey, stranger," she said, unable to keep herself from smiling.

"Jane!" Maura exclaimed, her face breaking out into a smile, before quickly realizing how loud she was. "Oh, sorry - Jane" she repeated in a whisper, laughing at herself.

Jane laughed as Maura looked around, making sure she hadn't disturbed anyone. Maura waved her closer.

"Hi," Maura said again quietly, biting her lip in excitement. "It's good to see you."

Jane sat down in the chair next to her, suddenly aware of just how close Maura's face was to her own. She had missed looking at her; she felt like she could study Maura's face for hours. Pausing for a half second too long, Jane awkwardly cleared her throat.

"It's good to see you too. I was beginning to think it might not happen again."

Maura's smile fell. "I know, I'm sorry. Just after the museum, my father was upset about not knowing where I was. I had lost track of the time, and none of his calls came through until -"

"I'm sorry I kept you out so late. I was afraid I had done something wrong..."

"Oh no!" Maura said, shaking her head, her hazel eyes searching Jane's face. She leaned in closer, "It was wonderful, I just haven't been able to get out of the house." Maura looked Jane up and down and paused. She cocked her head to the side and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you know, you recommended me that book at the museum and I figured I could stand to broaden my horizons a bit. Maybe I was hoping I'd run into you too."

Jane inhaled sharply the moment the words came out. She hadn't meant to say it.

Blushing, Maura shook her head, trying to find the right words. "You listened," she said at last, a small smile across her face.

"Well, yeah," Jane replied, still in awe at how surprised Maura seemed to have her thoughts heard. "You always say the coolest things. Don't wasn't to miss out."

Maura deserved to be treated better. Jane grit her teeth. It was time.

"Are you, uh, at the point for a study break? Could I buy you a drink?" Jane asked, running her fingers through her hair, trying to seem nonchalant . "There's a place right around the corner. Oh, or a coffee if you're planning to get back to it later today?"

Maura's face lit up. "I'd love to get a drink."

They stepped outside, each pulling their coats tighter as the brisk winter air hit them.

"God, it's like ten degrees colder than when I was out here half an hour ago." Jane said as she shoved her hands into her pockets.

She side stepped the man she had seen smoking earlier as Maura laughed and nodded. "I know, it's supposed to drop to the single digits this weekend."

They stayed close together during the walk over, both attributing it to the cold weather. Jane pulled back the bar door for Maura and frowned; the same large man she had seen outside the library was now half a block behind them. She paused for a moment before waving it off - a man who smokes going out for a drink at the nearest bar was hardly suspect. She gave him one last look before following Maura inside.

* * *

Motioning for the bartender to bring the check, Jane cleared her throat. It needed to happen now. With each passing moment, Jane felt the guilt of her lie beginning to creep in.

"So soon?" Maura asked with a lopsided smile, her cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

"Ahh yeah," Jane said, pulling out her wallet. "Not getting you in trouble two times in a row."

Jane heard Maura laugh, but her stomach was in knots. She took a deep breath and readied herself.

"Hey, I need to talk to you about something," Jane said in Maura's ear, trying to speak over the howl of the wind.

Maura pulled a woolen beanie from her purse and nodded, waiting for Jane to continue. When Jane paused, Maura frowned and stepped closer. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Your father..."

Maura's eyes instantly met Jane's. "What about him?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

"I know that he..." Jane trailed off, distracted.

"What?" Maura asked, following Jane's gaze behind her shoulder as she paused.

"I've seen this guy all day," Jane said in a low voice, watching the large man from the library loiter a few yards away. She grabbed Maura's hand and began walking quickly, checking over her shoulder to see if the man followed.

"Jane, let go of me," Maura said, trying to wriggle free. "I'm sure he's just a -"

From the corner of her eye, Jane saw the man immediately turn towards them, his pace quickening. Jane forcefully tugged Maura and pulled her around the corner.

"Jane -"

But Jane ignored her as she felt her heart pound. She pushed Maura flush against the wall and wait a half moment.

_BAM._

The man collided with Jane's outstretched arm, grabbing his throat as the wind was knocked out of him. There was a brief struggle; Jane threw two quick punches to the head and landed a well placed kick, causing the man to fall to the ground. Pushing herself up, Jane got back to her feet, her heart racing. She turned to a terrified Maura and pulled her into her arms.

"It's okay, it's okay." Jane said, adrenaline pumping through her veins. She pulled Maura in closer, her breathing heavy as her chest rose and fell. She had forgotten entirely what she had come to do. All she could see was Maura's confused face looking back at her. She leaned in closer, her heart pounding.

But Maura, still in Jane's arms, froze. Her eyes frantically searched Jane's face.

"What?" Jane said, trying to control her staggered breathing.

"You..." Maura whispered, her hazel eyes growing wider. She shook her head quickly, beginning pulling back. "How did you know how to do that? To fight like that?" Maura placed a hand to her forehead. "Oh my god. The bruising from the café. Bringing up my father..."

Jane shook her head. "Wait, wait -"

"How did you even know I was here? Have you been _following_ me?"

"Maura, wait - let me explain."

"Oh my god," Maura said as she stepped backwards. "I can't believe it. I -" Maura shook her head and looked back at the man on the ground, who was still out cold. "You know who I am."

"Maura, no, please," Jane said frantically trying to reach out to Maura as she stepped further away. She saw Maura look down at the man again, and Jane suddenly put it all together. The man was with Doyle. Paddy must have upped his security detail for Maura after the day at the museum. Jane had just knocked out Maura's protection.

"Who do you work for?" Maura asked, her voice steely as the wind whipped her hair across her face. "The Bucaros? The Calderones?"

"What? No - I'm not -"

"I trusted you," Maura said softly as her voice broke. She rubbed her hand across her forehead. "And you've been... using me. This entire time! My father has been warning me for years - I can't believe I've been so stupid."

"I'm not a gang member. I work for the Boston police." Jane said quickly. "I don't want to hurt you."

Maura threw her head back and pursed her lips as her eyes filled with tears and gave a sick laugh. "My father's always told me I should be more scared of the police."

"Maura, please," Jane begged, taking a step closer, her hands up in the air to show she meant no harm. "Just give me a second to explain."

"Don't," Maura spat back, refusing to look Jane in the eye, her arms crossed around her body.

Jane sighed and dropped her hands. She felt as if her stomach was lodged somewhere in her throat. Maura's look of betrayal cut through her.

"I'm not coming any closer, okay?" Jane said, waiting for Maura to look back at her. "We can keep you safe if you give us who Paddy's got working on the inside. Let me protect you."

Maura laughed and shook her head as she looked away. "You want me to betray my own father? The man who's kept me safe and provided for me my entire life?"

"Maura," Jane pleaded. "I want you to do the right thing. He's a bad man. You deserve better."

"Right and wrong aren't absolutes," Maura said back quietly. "You're just on one side of the line. My father lives by a set of morals."

"C'mon Maura, you're smarter than that!" Jane argued back. "The man's responsible for almost a hundred deaths throughout the city. How can you rationalize that?"

"Those were bad people! He's never killed a woman or child or any innocent men."

Jane clenched her teeth. Maura was more brainwashed than she thought. If she didn't convince Maura to stay quiet, she would lose more than Paddy's undercover men. She would lose everything. She could lose Maura.

"Maura, please, listen to me. I care about you," Jane pleaded.

"How do you expect me to believe you? I don't even know you," Maura said softly.

"If - if you can't tell me anything - fine. Okay? I just want to keep you safe. And if you go back to Paddy, I can't do that. There's going to be a SWAT team there. I don't want you in the line of fire." Jane took a tentative step forward. "Even if you don't come with me, just don't go back there, okay?"

"Where am I supposed to go, Jane?" Maura cried out. "I don't exist remember! I've got no identification, no schooling, no money."

"Then come back with me. We can put you up, give you a brand new identity. They'll never find you!"

Maura wiped away a fallen tear with the back of her hand. She paused for a moment and then slowly looked back up at Jane.

"I can't betray my own father, Jane."

"Maura -"

"Don't follow me," Maura said, before turning on her heel and disappearing into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** So I swear I hid this all lined out before the big storm was announced. If any of my followers are in the northeast, please stay safe and warm!

Hope y'all are ready for the angst. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Jane watched the snow fall softly outside her window. It was her favorite type of snow as a child, the kind that falls so delicately that it seems to swirl and dance in every direction. She let her eyes unfocus and leaned forward, pressing her forehead against the cold window pane.

This was what she wanted. Cavanaugh told her to suit up for the ambush, which would have to happen tonight, now that Maura proved to be unreliable. The team would move in swiftly, taking down all of Doyle's men as well as confiscating any computers that might lead them to his other accomplices. She would get full recognition for his arrest.

This was what she wanted.

Jane rolled her head back and forth against the window pane, repeating the words again and again, hoping she would finally believe them. This wasn't what she wanted. She wanted Maura on her team, helping to identify all of Doyle's undercover men. She imagined the two of them on an overt ops team, huddled close over a laptop, finding ways to reveal who Paddy had working in the force. She pictured them sitting on Jane's sofa afterwards, laughing and drinking as they brought justice to the city.

Instead she remembered the look of pain in Maura's eyes when she realized why Jane was interested in her.

This wasn't what she wanted. Jane clenched her teeth and made a fist as she promised herself that above all else, she would keep Maura safe. She knew she had to call Cavanaugh to let him know that Paddy would know they had pinned him down. She had to do it. For the sake of the lives and families she had seen destroyed by Doyle, she knew that it was right thing to do. But no matter how many times she tried to reason with herself, her guilt towards Maura remained, as if seeping in to every pore of her body. So no matter what happened tonight, Jane's would keep Maura safe, no matter how much Maura might try to resist her.

"Be sure to bundle up tonight, folks. Temperatures will be dropping into the single digits in just a few hours. We're expecting a few inches of snow, so be sure to -"

Jane clicked off the TV, silencing the chippy weather reporter, and headed into her bedroom for an extra pair of socks. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

"Rizzoli," Cavanaugh said with a nod. "You ready?"

Jane nodded as she fastened her Kevlar vest around her waist, not quite able to make eye contact.

"You look like you're going to be sick," Ricky said as he slapped her back. "But don't worry, we've all been there. Nothing quite like your first raid."

Jane grimaced, hoping her look of disdain came off like nerves. She had envisioned this moment for years, drawing her gun, shouting commands and dodging as bullets came flying, but all she felt was fear and guilt.

"Hey," Cavanaugh said, craning his neck to bring Jane off to the corner out of earshot. "You're not the first person to lose their confidential informant, you know that, right?"

Jane placed her hands her hips and nodded, staring intently at a stain in the battered carpet.

Cavanaugh lowered his voice, "You're also not the first person to fall for your CI."

Jane's head shot up. " I -"

"It's going to be brutal out there," Cavanaugh said, staring out the window. "I should have given you one more week, huh?"

Jane gave a half-hearted smile and rubbed the back of her neck. What she would have given for one more week.

"Alright, listen up," Cavanaugh said loudly, hands on his hips. "This is an extraction mission. We have reason to believe that Doyle's got men working for him all over the city, so we want to get people talking. I expect bullets to fly, so be smart. We're going to split up into two teams so we can corner them. Doyle may have gotten word that we're coming, but we're hoping he thinks the weather will hold us off."

Cavanaugh's comment was met with a round of groans, all clearly in agreement with Doyle's logic.

"Yeah, I know, I know. It's cold and it's going to get colder. So let's make this quick, ok?"

* * *

Jane wiped her sleeve against her face, trying to brush the snow out of her eyes. It had been two minutes, and the cold was already unbearable. She moved quickly and quietly throughout the warehouse with only one thing on her mind. Keep Maura safe.

She rounded the corner and shouted at the men behind her to grab the guy on her right, rolling on her back to avoid the gunshots behind her. She moved from room to room, panicking as she covered more ground and was unable to find her. She headed up to the second floor. Men everywhere, but no Maura. She found a second stairwell off to the right, and before she took her first step, she saw movement out the window.

Everything froze as Jane strained her eyes. The small figure looked to be making their way across the empty lot, trudging and falling through the snow.

Jane jumped own the stairs two at a time, sliding through a door behind a large shelf. She tripped her way through the snow, her eyes focused on the hooded figure in front of her. Jane sped up as she realizing that they was headed towards a busted gate on the left.

The wind whipped around her and blew off the figure's hood. Maura's long locks spooled out before being quickly caught in the wind. She shook her head to push her hair behind her as she caught sight of Jane, a few yards away.

Jane held her breath, unable to move. Maura's face was flushed from the wind, her lips red and full. Her hair flew widely behind her as she frowned.

"You..." Maura said, her face contorting in anger. "I trusted you!" she screamed, her voice cracking. "You were - my friend. My only..."

"Maura," Jane said, walking towards her. "Please, you have to understand. I didn't want for this to happen this way. I thought-"

"You thought I would hand over my own father," she said, brushing away a stray tear with the back of her hand. "You don't know me!" she paused and shook her head. "You could never know me."

"Please," Jane begged. "Let me help you. I want to know you - I want to know everything about you. But if you go through that gate, you're heading straight into the line of fire. We've got people stationed on every block corner, who won't hesitate -"

"What other option do I have Jane? You've left me with nothing!" Maura yelled over the howl of the wind.

"What are you planning to do? Does Paddy know you're out here? Are you running away from him?" Jane asked, squinting through the snow to see if he was nearby.

"I had to tell him, he's... he's my dad." Maura said, casting her eyes on the ground.

"And where is he?" Jane asked. "Did he leave you?"

"No." Maura said flatly. "I'm not telling you where he is," she finished stubbornly.

Jane kept inching towards her. "I don't care about him, Maura. I care about you."

Maura scoffed. "I find that hard to believe. He's the gold prize isn't he? He's the thing that gets you the promotion."

"It's not just about that," Jane argued back. "I want this city to be safe. I want to bring justice to the families that he -"

"Why aren't you back there going after him? Saving the city?"

"I told you," Jane said exasperatedly. "I had to make sure you were okay. And I will drag you out of here kicking and screaming if I have to."

"And what, arrest me?" Maura spat. "Go on," she said holding her arms out to be cuffed. "I've tended to murderous men. That makes me an accomplice, doesn't it? I've been trapped under my father for 28 years and now you want to keep me trapped to."

"That's not what I want. You can cut a deal with the DA. If you give them information and we prove that you're not a threat, they'll let you off."

"And what if I am?" Maura asked softly.

"What?"

Maura lowered her eyes. "A threat."

Jane stepped closer; this time Maura did not move away. "Because I know you, Maura, no matter what you say. There's not an evil bone in your body."

"It's in my DNA," she argued as another tear fell.

Jane shook her head. "I know I've given no reason for you to trust me," Jane said as she took another step, now only a foot away. "But you can. You deserve more. And I will do everything I can to give it to you."

Jane reached out her hand for Maura's, and right as she swore Maura moved closer towards her, a voice echoed from their left.

"Get away from her," came a low, gravely voice, followed by the click of a safety being released.

Jane turned around quickly, her gun raised. She stared into Doyle's eyes, her finger on the trigger.

"Dad," she heard Maura call out, "No!"

Jane hesitated.

Doyle did not.


	6. Chapter 6

Jane felt the world move in slow motion.

"No!" Maura screamed, running towards Doyle outstretched arm. Doyle's focus didn't waiver. He narrowed his eyes, his gun aimed directly at Jane's forehead.

The gun fired and Jane stumbled from the impact, falling backwards into the snow. She opened her eyes, trying to keep the world from spinning.

The snow spun softly over her head. Jane felt a snowflake land delicately on her eyelash before everything went black.

* * *

Jane's eyes snapped open as she felt a searing pain press in her left shoulder.

"Maura?" she said, clenching her teeth. "Fuck - god - stop!" she cried out, trying to move from Maura's grasp.

Maura ignored her, shoving Jane back against the broken fence. "Stop it," she said forcefully, her eyes focused on Jane's shoulder.

Jane squirmed again as she felt pressure, gasping from the pain. Her mind reeled. _What happened?_

Maura pinned Jane against the fence with her forearm. "Stop moving," she said, and then shook her head. "I can't believe they left."

"What?" Jane said, looking around them. The lot was quiet with a fresh layer of snow; the only thing Jane could hear was her own staggered breathing.

Maura pushed her hair out of her face with the back of her arm, her hands stained with blood. Jane's eyes grew wide as the memory came back. Maura must have only just gotten to Doyle by the time his gun fired, causing his arm to move just a few inches.

"Shit," Maura said, finally raising her eyes to Jane. "It hit an artery. We have to get you out of here."

"Where is everyone?" Jane said, grimacing as she tried to lift her head to look around. "How long have I ..."

"About half an hour. They're all gone." Maura said, wiping her hands on her jeans. "They left."

"What?"

"I kept waiting for them to find you, but with the storm I guess they figured you must have headed back. And I just couldn't..." Maura let her sentence trail off. "You were going to freeze to death," she said quickly.

"You came back for me?" Jane asked, working to bring herself to a sitting position. She could no longer feel her fingers. "Where's Paddy?"

Maura unbuttoned her jacket and tore off the bottom half of her shirt, ignoring the question. "You need to get to a hospital. You're going to bleed out." Maura took the strip of fabric and tied it tightly from the crook of Jane's neck to under her arm. "This should help, but we don't have long."

"Just grab my phone, we can call an ambulance -"

Jane stopped short as Maura pulled Jane's cellphone from the snow.

"It's dead. It must have fallen out when you hit the ground," Maura explained. "I don't know what to do; everything shut down tonight. Jane, you need help." Maura's face softened. "Your words are starting to slur," she added. "Can you feel your toes?"

Jane wiggled her toes. "Barely."

Maura nodded. "Ok, we need to get inside. I need tools. Where is your apartment?" she asked, putting her shoulder under Jane's good arm to help her get to her feet.

Jane blinked, trying to steady herself. The ground felt as if was slipping out from beneath her. "It's like 8 blocks. We'll never -"

"Well that's ten blocks closer than the nearest hospital. Let's move."

Jane felt Maura pull her forward. "Maura, what are you doing? Why are you helping me after everything -"

"Save your energy. Just tell me where to go."

They trudged through the snow silently, each step seeming to be harder than the last. Jane felt her eyes growing heavy. Twice she asked Maura to let her sit down and rest.

"No," Maura said quickly, "We can't stop."

Jane's face was numb by the time they reached her apartment; she could no longer feel her lips. She fumbled for a few moments, unable to keep her hands from shaking in order to retrieve her keys. Maura nudged her, silently taking the keys from her and opening the door.

Jane's resolve faded now that they had finally reached their destination.

"Maura," she mumbled, as her knees gave way.

Maura caught her before she hit the ground. "I've got you. I've got you," she said, helping Jane back to her feet.

"Let's get you warm," she said, moving Jane towards the bathroom. She brought Jane to sit at the edge of the tub, silently removing her shoes and socks. "You were out in the snow for so long... you're showing signs of hypothermia," she said breathlessly as she held Jane hands between her own. "But the symptoms are so similar to blood loss."

Maura bit her lip as she slowly began moving Jane's injured arm out of her jacket, deep in thought. "We'll have to tackle both," she said aloud to herself. "Where's your sewing kit?"

Jane tried to say something back, but couldn't form the words.

"Jane," Maura said forcefully, before turning on the faucet to the bathtub. "Come on, I need you to tell me."

"Bed." Jane forced out, feeling her vision begin to tunnel.

"Under the bed?"

Jane nodded as Maura began removing the Kevlar vest and peeling off her blood-stained shirt. She helped prop Jane up, holding her as she stepped out of her pants. Maura stopped the faucet when the tub was half-full and then held out her hand for Jane to hold onto.

She grimaced as she stepped into the bathtub, her toes tingling painfully from the sudden change in temperature. Maura stepped one foot into the tub, helping Jane move to a lying position.

"Keep your shoulder up. I'll be right back."

Jane attempted to hold back a whimper. Her body felt like lead, as if trying to pull her further down into the tub. She opened her eyes as she heard Maura come back, a sewing kit in one hand, and a bottle of vodka in the other.

"To stay warm?" Jane croaked as Maura placed the vodka at the edge of the tub.

"Among other things," Maura said quietly, as she removed her shoes and stepped into the tub.

Jane watched Maura's shirt darken and cling to her as the water soaked through. Maura scooted closer, straddling herself across Jane's legs. Somewhere in the back of Jane's mind she became acutely aware of her own body, now clad in only underwear.

"Drink some. I'm told it helps." Maura said, tipping the neck of the bottle towards Jane.

Jane opened her mouth, feeling the burn of the alcohol in her chest.

Maura began unwrapping the makeshift binding, grimacing as she began wiping away blood from Jane's shoulder. She raised her eyes back to Jane and murmured, "You're going to want to take another sip."

Jane took another drink from the bottle, closing her eyes as the effects swarmed over her. She felt Maura splash some against her shoulder. "It's going to hurt," she finished plainly.

Jane nodded and clenched her jaw in preparation. Jane felt herself swimming in and out of consciousness as Maura worked. Her body shook and buckled from the pain as Maura extracted the bullet.

"I'm sorry," Jane finally said as she caught her breath.

Maura eyes flicked upward only momentarily as she lit a match to sterilize the needle.

"I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I don't deserve your help." She paused and took a deep breath as a wave of nausea ran over her. "Why... why did you try to stop him?"

Maura held her gaze before returning at the task at hand, seemingly ignoring Jane's words. She stitched her up, holding Jane down as her body jerked involuntarily from the pain. After the last stich Maura dropped everything, finally letting out a sob.

"Thank you," Jane said, her voice barely a whisper.

Maura nodded and pressed her lips together, trying to hold back tears. "He knew..." she said finally. "He knew how much you meant to me, and he -" Maura shook her head, unable to continue.

"Maura," Jane said hoarsely, her hand coming to rest on Maura's thigh.

Maura shook her head and leaned forward, letting her head fall against Jane's good shoulder. Jane wrapped her arm around Maura's waist, holding her tightly as her body shook. "What am I going to do?" she cried breathlessly against Jane's neck. "What am I going to do?"

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you so much for your support. Hope y'all are as much of a sucker for angst as I am! I promise things will be much fluffier in the next chapter as they come to terms with the fallout of that night.

Also sorry for the slightly shorter chapters. I've just had these cliffhangers planned out since the beginning. I appreciate your kind words - you have no idea how much it motivates me to stick with this. Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

Jane awoke to the sharp crack of fire in her living room. She opened her eyes slowly, staring at her fireplace as her shoulder throbbed. Picking up her head to check the time, she cursed at the soreness of her limbs. 5:24 AM. She moved to rub her eyes before craning her head back to get a better look at her hands. They were covered in mittens. She clumsily removed them and pulled off the beanie that she realized was on her head, her curls spooling across her shoulders.

Grimacing, she gripped the sofa tightly as she fought to prop herself up. Where was Maura? She pushed back the blankets and tripped as she made her way to her bedroom, trying to remember where the night ended. It came back in bits and piece. Lying against the fence. Walking back to her apartment. The bathtub. Jane inhaled sharply as she remembered Maura breaking down. They had stayed like that for a while, Jane underneath Maura, holding her tightly. How did she end up on the couch?

Jane breathed a sigh of relief as she looked down at her bed, a tuft of blonde hair sticking out between the covers. Pulling the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her hands as she shivered, Jane stared at the snow piling up on her windowsill. Jane walked back into the living room, unsure of what to do. She eventually padded over to the kitchen to make coffee, just to keep herself busy.

"Hey," Maura's voice called out softly a few minutes later. Jane turned to find Maura resting against the door frame to Jane's bedroom. She pushed her tousled hair behind her ear and smiled awkwardly. Jane smirked as she saw a familiar long-sleeved Boston Marathon shirt, her own pajamas puddling at Maura's feet.

"You're up early," Maura said as she walked towards her.

Jane nodded. "Coffee?" she asked hoarsely.

"Thanks," Maura said as she moved slowly towards the kitchen. "I planned to be out of here before you woke up."

Jane nodded her head to the window. "I don't think you're going anywhere today."

Maura followed Jane's gaze and walked over to the window, folding her arms to stay warm.

"Yeah, I think we got about a foot and a half last night." Jane said as she poured out a cup of coffee and pushed it in Maura's direction. "So stay. You at least have to fill me in on last night."

"What do you remember?" Maura asked softly as she wrapped her hands around the warm coffee mug.

"Bits and pieces." Jane said, resting her elbows against the counter.

Maura nodded, as if not sure where to start. "I - um - sorry, I borrowed your clothes." she said, biding time. "Mine got wet. I put them in the dryer."

Jane's mind flashed back to the moment. Maura, hovering over her, her shirt clinging to her body as she worked on Jane's shoulder.

"Maura, I owe you everything. You can take my whole closet if you like."

Chuckling, Maura seemed to find the courage to begin.

"Last night after the bar," she began. "I took off towards home. I was..." Maura paused, trying to find the right word. "- livid. I just - I was dead-set on letting my father know at once. I wanted to save him... and I didn't want you to get any of the glory." Maura's eyes flashed up for a second to gage Jane's reaction before quickly continuing on. "But then, I started having second thoughts. I ended up heading back to the warehouse, and shut myself in my room for about an hour before I told him. I think partially because I was scared because I knew what you said was true, and partially because I was embarrassed that he was right."

"Right about what?"

"About you. I had to tell him about you after the day at the museum; about why I was late. And he warned me. He told me people from the outside can't be trusted. But I had assured him that you were okay, and that I was being smart about hiding my identity."

Maura's fingers traced the handle of the mug for a moment.

"Hey - listen," Jane started, trying to stop Maura from beating herself up.

Maura shook her head, continuing on. "We argued for a few days after that and eventually he agreed that I could go out so long as I brought someone with me. That day at the library, that was Connor who you decked. He was looking out for me."

"Ahh, yeah, I eventually put that together. I'm sorry - I thought he was trying to hurt you."

Maura nodded appreciatively, getting back on track with the events of last night. "So eventually, I broke down and told him. He - he didn't show much emotion. He just told me to pack a bag and keep my mouth shut until he said the word. And about halfway through packing was when I saw them. You. Swarming the building. And I panicked. I heard the first gun shot and dropped everything and ran. I think I finally realized that escaping with my father would just mean more of that - more hiding, more violence. I didn't want to be a part of it anymore. I just knew I wanted out. As thoughtless and as ill-planned as it was, I just had to leave."

Jane nodded, wanting nothing more than to reach across the counter and pull Maura into a hug. But she stayed still instead, letting Maura finish.

"And then I saw you, out by the fence. And all of a sudden my rash decision to leave was beginning to sink in. I just - I was so angry. I couldn't see straight, I felt like I was standing on a ledge, teetering over the edge. And then right when I finally started realizing that maybe you were right, maybe there was another option for me, my father showed up."

Jane swore her shoulder throbbed upon hearing reference to Doyle. She rolled it softly, trying to relieve the tension.

"And the whole thing happened so fast. I remember seeing his gun, and I think in that moment I decided I was done. I can't be a part of his world anymore, where people who speak out and have different opinions are dealt with in that way. I just lunged towards him, trying desperately to make him stop, begging for him to put down the gun and just go."

Maura shook her head, pausing as she tried to keep her voice from wavering. "I think I went into some kind of shock when the gun went off. The next thing I remember is him grabbing me around my torso, pulling me through the broken gate. He had his hand over my mouth, telling me again and again to be quiet. Eventually we got to this alley way and he grabbed me by the shoulders, telling me that you were scum and that you deserved what you got. And that was when I stopped pulling away, letting him think that I was no longer resisting. I waited until he lightened his grip, and then halfway across the street I turned and ran in the opposite direction, back towards you."

"And he kept going?" Jane asked, unable to hold back.

"Yeah, he called after me, but we heard sirens around the corner. He gave me one last look, and then he took off."

"Maura, I'm sorry. I know that must have been hard." Jane said softly, reaching out her hand to grab Maura's.

"I just - the way he talked about you. The way he dealt with it... the way he _always_ deals with it. Violence." Maura shook her head. "I couldn't get away fast enough."

"You know, he did it all to protect you," Jane said softly.

Maura raised her eyebrows. "You're defending him now?"

"What? No, I - uh - I guess I am," Jane finished with a laugh. "Not sure how that happened."

They both laughed for a moment before returning to take a sip of coffee.

"So you went back to the scene of a crime?" Jane asked, unable to stay quiet.

Maura swallowed and nodded, brushing her lips with her fingertips. "I found a spot in the lot next store where I could see you. I knew you were wearing a Kevlar vest, so I figured you were just shaken from the impact and that you'd get up in a few moments. But you didn't. I kept waiting for someone to find you, I figured they couldn't leave without you. But the wind was picking up and the snow was everywhere. I overheard someone asking where you were and they had assumed that you went home because of the weather or maybe forgot protocol because it was your first raid."

Jane scoffed, sure it was her partner Ricky who made that last statement. Then suddenly her head popped up.

"What's wrong?"

"With my phone down, I need to send an email to let them know I'm okay," Jane said as she rounded the corner and picked her laptop off of her desk. She craned her head back to the kitchen when she realized Maura didn't follow her. "Have a seat," she said with a grin, patting the spot next to her. "You're going to be here for the next 24 hours, so you better quit acting like such a guest."

Maura got up from the counter stool and delicately sat next to Jane, a look of worry etched on her face.

"What's up?" Jane asked as she opened up her email.

"Are you going to tell him about me?"

Jane stopped and turned towards Maura, only now aware that she was harboring a fugitive of sorts. Jane stammered, trying to figure out her options. She should tell Cavanaugh. She was probably legally obligated to. But Maura herself posed no threat, and it would be an understatement to say that Jane didn't owe her one.

"I - I won't... for now. But we should. You should let us protect you." Jane bit the inside of her cheek as she held her breath. This was the same request she made again and again yesterday. She could only hope Maura would finally take her up on it.

Pausing, Maura fidgeted with one of the cuffs of her sleeves. Finally she looked up at Jane, her eyebrows furrowed. "Can I have some time to decide?"

Jane nodded. "I won't say anything today. I think that's all I can promise though."

Maura gave a small smile and whispered "Thanks." Jane wrote a short two line email to let the squad now that she was ok before turning her attention back towards Maura, who was deep in thought.

"Hey," she said softly, rubbing her hand along Maura's forearm. "You don't have to decide anything right now. We've got the whole day."

Maura gave an appreciative smile and curled her feet underneath her. Jane stoked the fire, watching the prong awaken the quieted embers, before turning back towards Maura.

"Okay, I know you filled me in on all the before, but you're going to have to fill me in on the rest. I remember you in the lot and walking, but I don't actually remember getting here."

"Yeah, you were pretty delirious for most of it." Maura added, before taking a sip of coffee and settling in for the rest of the story. "Let's see, so as I mentioned earlier, I was waiting to make sure you were found. When I realized they left and weren't coming out, I headed over to you to see why you weren't moving. That's when I saw it - all the blood. I realized it must have missed the Kevlar vest by centimeters. "

Maura's eyes flashed towards Jane's shoulder. "I propped you up against the fence, trying to get you to come to. I eventually decided I needed to concentrate on your shoulder, afraid that the blood loss was the reason you passed out. It wasn't until you woke up and started pushing back that I realize how cold you were."

Jane nodded along as the memory became clearer. "You said we needed to leave. I remember walking and thinking we'd never make it. I think I was ready to give up."

"It was a natural response. But I knew how hard it would be to keep going if we stopped. So we pressed on until we got to your apartment. I had to keep prompting you for directions. At one point I was afraid you were bringing us in circles, but you knew a shortcut."

"Ahh, the back alley. Glad that still came to me."

"Me, too," Maura said with a smile. "You were mostly dead weight by that point."

Jane scrunched her face in embarrassment. "I can't even imagine what the stairs were like."

"No, no, you were okay for those few moments. It wasn't until we got to your apartment that things really went downhill. I think the apartment was your mission, so once you were there, you kind of let go."

"And you brought me to the bathroom..."

"Yes, the signs you were showing were symptoms of both blood loss and hypothermia... I wasn't sure what to tackle first, so I went for both."

"You saved me," Jane said softly, lifting her eyes to meet Maura's.

Maura gave a small smile back and shook her head. "I think it was mostly luck. And maybe your stubbornness to survive."

Jane threw her head back and laughed. She turned towards Maura and looked her square in the eye. "Thank you."

Maura nodded and turned her attention back to the fire. "I finished stitching you up, and..." Maura cleared her throat uncomfortably, intent on glazing over her breakdown. "You started slurring again, and at that point I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or everything else. The water was getting cold, so I got you out and dressed. I started a fire - the apartment was so cold, it just couldn't keep up with the weather outside. I got you to eat some soup and drink some water. You fell asleep, and it was so much warmer in here than the bedroom, so I set you up out here and took the bed. I hope you didn't think I was a terrible house guest."

Jane laughed. "Of course not! I assure you pleasantries was the last thing on my mind when I woke up this morning."

Maura smiled and turned her attention towards Jane's shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

Jane gave a half-hearted shrug with her good shoulder. "Better than last night."

Maura nodded and raised her eyebrows asking for permission. Off of Jane's nod, she moved closer and pulled off the bandaging gingerly. They both smiled nervously as Maura scooted closer to examine the stitching. They talked as Maura applied an ointment, discussing nothing in particular.

Jane was surprised to see how quickly the rest of the afternoon flew by. They cooked dinner together, and Jane felt herself using any kind of excuse to stay close to Maura. To make her laugh. The thought of Maura disappearing started to weigh more and more heavily as the night wore on. They needed to come up a plan by the end of night.

Jane's spirit fell as she realized the unavoidable - it did not go unnoticed by Maura.

"What is it?" Maura asked with concern. "What's wrong?"

"I'm going to lose you." Jane said, her eyes focused on the food in front of her. "Even if you let us protect you... you'll have to leave in order for them to keep you safe."

Maura nodded. "I thought about that." She inhaled deeply, "But I think it's what I have to do. Without money or an ID, I don't stand a chance."

"You'll get to travel," Jane said, trying to sound happy. "Explore the world like you always wanted to."

"It wasn't until now that I realized that I don't want to travel alone." Maura said with a soft smile. "Maybe you could come with me, wherever they send me."

"Unfortunately I don't think it works that way. But once we go to the station tomorrow and we see how many people the BPD caught, maybe you won't have to stay hidden for long. If you can give us names of Doyle's men working undercover, then maybe we don't have to resort to witness protection."

"They'll let me do that?"

"They can't force you into WP. But you have to follow their rules if you want to stay safe. It's the ones who break the rules who wind up dead."

Maura nodded slowly. "So we go in tomorrow. Tell them what I know, and then take it from there?"

"I think so. Once we can get a handle on how the situation played out last night, we can figure out how to move from there."

Jane rested her hand against Maura's knee. It reminded her of last night, when she tried to comfort Maura in the bathtub. She wasn't sure if it brought any kind of reassurance, but Maura looked grateful. Her sigh of relief turned into a yawn.

"I'm sorry," she said with a laugh as the second yawn came on. "It's been a week." She looked at Jane sheepishly. "Do you, um, want the bed? I don't want to kick you out of it two nights in a row."

Jane laughed and cast her eyes towards the bedroom before she came up with an idea. "Neither of us should have to freeze in there tonight." She pushed herself off of the couch and headed towards her bedroom without another word.

"Jane?" Maura called out in confusion.

There was rustling before Jane poked her head back into the living room. "The gesture was going to be better when I dragged out the mattress into the living room to surprise you, but it's not so easy to do with only one good arm."

Maura laughed and headed towards Jane's bedroom. After a few tugs, they were able to push the mattress out of the bedroom.

"Voilà. Warmth and comfort. A novel concept I know."

Maura giggled. "But you take the bed this time. I'll sleep on the sofa."

"Your funeral," Jane said, shaking her head. "Not the first time I've fallen asleep on that couch. Pretty sure I've caused permanent damage to my spine."

"Oh I'm sure it's not that bad!" Maura laughed.

"No, I can't let you do it. It's cruel and unusual torture. Here," Jane shifted to one side. "We can share. I swear I don't kick... much."

Maura smiled and shook her head, but nonetheless joined Jane on the bed. She folded her arm under her head and stared up at the ceiling. For a moment, neither of them talked. Jane tried to ignore the pulsing feeling that ran through her core. She was just so aware of Maura's presence, she didn't know what to do with herself. She felt as if a coil was tightening in her body, the tension building, begging to be undone -

"Jane?"

She turned and cracked open an eye, finding Maura closer than expected. "Yeah?" she said hoarsely, her voice barely a whisper.

"I'm glad that I'm here with you tonight."

Jane's smiled and closed her eyes before nodding. "Me too."

Realizing that tonight could be the last night, Jane reached out and softly tugged at Maura to come closer. She pressed her body against Maura's back, letting her lips fall against the crook of Maura's neck.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** I know, it's been 10 years. Turns out writer's block combined with a bad review really demotivates a girl. Anyway, finally know where I'm heading with this! Hope you enjoy! It's been fun getting back into it.

* * *

Jane stretched her legs and yawned, squinting at the bright light that shone through the slit of her curtains. She stayed still for about two seconds, realizing just how long it had been since she'd felt the sun. Grinning, she turned her head, excited to see the sun's bright glow bouncing across Maura's face.

Empty.

Jane frantically propped herself up, calling out for Maura, her voice hoarse.

"Hey", she heard a voice call out from her bedroom.

Jane looked up, her mouth falling open slightly. Maura smiled as she walked into the living room, twisting her wet hair in a towel.

"What do you think?" Maura asked, turning to look at herself in the mirror. "It's a little redder than I was expecting."

Jane attempted to form words. Maura's long golden locks were now a shade of auburn, barely skimming past her shoulder. "Wow," she croaked.

"Good wow?" Maura asked nervously as she wrung her hair in the towel.

"Very," Jane said, swallowing slowly. "When did you wake up?"

"Few hours ago," Maura responded as she looked at the clock on the microwave. "I was a wreck. I just... I felt so exposed, I couldn't imagine going down to the station today. So I ran out to the convenience store around the corner to grab some hair dye."

"And are you feeling any better?" Jane asked, unable to tear her eyes away from Maura's exposed shoulders.

"Well definitely don't feel like myself, which I guess was what I was going for."

Jane chuckled and got up off of the couch to make coffee. Her mind raced to last night, remembering her lips on the back of Maura's neck. It had felt so natural then, the way Maura fit perfectly next to her. But in the stark daylight, Jane wasn't sure if she had gone too far. She chewed her lip, trying to ignore the fact that Maura stood within such close proximity to her, clad in only a towel.

Jane took a deep breath and cleared her throat, trying to feign a relaxed disposition as she turned back to Maura.

"Are you ready for today?"

"No," Maura said plainly. "But at this point I'm just ready to be done with it."

Jane gave her a knowing look, their eyes locked together. Jane's eyebrows crinkled as she opened her mouth, trying to find the right words of comfort. Maura offered her a weak smile back as she shook her head, knowing there was nothing more to be said.

Raking her hands through her hair, Jane sighed as she picked up Maura's coat and handed it over to her. _Here we go._

* * *

"But, sir!"

"Rizzoli, don't make me repeat myself. Either you get yourself checked out, or you are forbidden from being on this floor." Cavanaugh said, his patience waning. "Your choice."

Jane clenched her teeth in frustration. Maura had already been escorted into the interrogation room to give her statement, Jane didn't want to be anywhere but here, but Cavanaugh made it clear that in no uncertain terms would she get anywhere near that room until she went to the hospital. Realizing she was only wasting time by arguing, she finally sighed and gabbed her coat.

"Don't let them go anywhere until I'm back."

"You know I can't do that, Rizzoli," Cavanaugh said. "I'm quickly about to be outranked by federal law. Just get your ass back here as soon as you can."

Jane nodded, turning towards the door.

"And Rizzoli?" Cavanaugh said as she reached the threshold of the door. "Great job."

Jane smiled, feeling her chest swell with pride. Though it felt like a botched mission with Doyle getting away, the team had arrested 28 of his men during the raid. One of Boston's biggest drug busts yet. Despite everything, it was still a success.

Rounding the corner, Jane sighed, feeling the pride quickly exhale. It was a win - a huge win - but it didn't remove the pit at the bottom of her stomach as she thought of Maura. What was going to happen today? How quickly would she be put in Witness Protection? Was she really ready to admit to herself that we was never going to see her again?

Those thoughts continued to run through Jane's head at the hospital. The doctors re-stitched her up (after some very impressive comments regarding the initial handiwork, which Jane couldn't help but smile at), and she headed back to the precinct, her head in a fog. After impatiently waiting for the elevator for 30 seconds, Jane heading to the stairs, taking them two at a time. She reached the 4th floor, breathless, and showed Cavanaugh her admitted bracelet.

Nodding, he tilted his head towards the back. "She finished her statement. They're doing the application for Witness Protection right now. Probably taking her to a safe house tonight until she gets approved."

Still panting, Jane ran her fingers through her hair. This really was it, they would take Maura away immediately. She rounded to her desk, trying to get a hold of herself, attempting to remember why she insisted Maura go through with this. She rubbed her eyebrows, trying to process everything. She needed to be strong - she knew Maura would be in a fragile state. She just implicated her own father and was going to be forced to leave the only town she'd ever known in a matter of hours.

Jane poked at her uneaten lunch a few hours later, unable to stomach anything. She knew this was going to take awhile, but the constant stress was starting to get the better of her. Jane heart jumped as she heard the scrape of the interrogation door opening.

Maura stepped out, her nose red from crying, a tissue held firmly in her right hand. Two men in black suits were escorting her out the side stairwell.

Jane leapt up. She ran to the stairwell only to be caught in the chest by a third man she hadn't seen. "This is restricted," he said forcefully.

"No," Jane pleaded, "I just have to say goodbye."

He didn't move, "No access without the appropriate verification."

Jane cursed and turned on her heel, heading towards the elevators. She knew this stairwell let out in the alley to the side of the building. If she could time it right, she could -

The elevator dinged and Jane slammed the Close button, pleading for it to move faster. After what felt like an eternity, the doors opened to the lobby. She slid past two officers as she ran outside. Jumping down the last 3 steps, she turned the corner.

"Maura!" she shouted, arms waving as she saw the top of Maura's head between the two men's large shoulders.

"Jane," Maura call back, her voice a mixture of relief and terror. "Please," she said, turning her attention to the men guarding her. "Please, let me say goodbye."

"We should really be going," Jane heard him say, looking at the other man for reassurance.

The older man looked Jane up and down, and after sensing she wasn't a threat, told her, "You have 30 seconds."

This certainly wasn't how Jane had planned to do it - saying goodbye to Maura in an alley while a handful of men stared at them. But she didn't have time to lament over the scenery. Without pausing, Jane pushed through, immediately finding Maura's hand outstretched, reaching out to her.

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura tightly before pulling back, at a loss for words. She tried to remind herself what she had been repeating in her head all day - be strong. Be strong for Maura.

She cleared her throat and blinked back a few tears. She raised her good arm to push back a wayward hair from Maura's cheek. "I was worried I wouldn't get a chance to say goodbye."

Maura nodded, dipping her head into the crook of Jane's neck. Jane could feel the cool wetness of Maura's tears against her skin, and felt herself begin to lose it.

"Hey," she said softly, rubbing Maura's back. "You were really brave back there. I'm so proud of you." She brought her hands up, running them through Maura's hair. "The doctors at the hospital were amazed at your stitching. Couldn't believe it."

Maura gave Jane a watery grin as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.

"Ladies," the man said, breaking the moment. "It's time."

Maura shook her head and grasped the bottom of Jane's shirt. "I'm so scared."

"You'll be great," Jane said, forcing a smile. "You'll love it."

The second man stepped in between them, his voice more forceful. "We need to go."

Jane felt Maura's fingers slide through her own. She opened her mouth, wanting to say more. Her body instinctively reached back out, but Maura was being pulled inside the SUV. She met Maura's eyes one last time before the car door shut.

And like that, she was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

At the time, Jane had assumed the first week would be the worst. The raw, unnerving feeling of loss. She was ready for the sleepless nights, the loss of appetite. She was wrong.

It was the following month when the shock wore off and the reality set in - she was never seeing Maura again. Their goodbye felt halted. She bemoaned the fact that it was in an alley way, surrounded by agents. She could still feel her arms around Maura's shoulders, wanting to tell Maura how she felt. Jane spent nearly every morning in the car to and from work shaking her head as she remembered that she needed to be strong, she needed to push Maura away. She would have been too scared otherwise.

The weeks turned into months. Her performance at work started to slide. She found it harder to get out of bed, harder to stay motivated. Un-whole. Empty.

If Jane wasn't actively engaged in something, she would find her mind drifting back to Maura. Where was she? Jane's mind would flash from worrying about her safety to jealously picturing Maura's new life.

Maura laughing, sun kissed at the beach. Surrounded by friends drinking wine. Was she even called Maura anymore?

There were moments of desperation when she would try to search for her. No inkling, nothing to go on, but clawing to find something to hold onto. She knew there was no point in searching, but the feeling deep in her chest wouldn't let go.

About six months in, Jane's mother stopped by after hearing from Frankie that she seemed different at work. Unsure of what do with herself, Jane pushed her away.

"Jane, sweetie, what's wrong with you?" Angela cried out, arms flailing as she looked around her apartment. "This place is a mess! You didn't grow up with a maid, so I don't know why you think..."

Angela trailed off as she stared Jane down. She could tell from the hollow look in her eyes that something was wrong.

"Jane," she said again, softer this time. "What's wrong, honey?"

Jane shook her head, folding her her knee up as she sat on the couch and mindlessly stared at the TV. "Nothing."

Making her way to the kitchen, Angela called out "When's the last time you went to the grocery store?"

"Ma, if you're just going to come over and -"

"And what? Care for you?"

Jane could the anger starting to boil up. She opened her mouth to argue back but Angela beat her to it.

"Whatever it is, sweetie, don't let it win. Take the hurt and frustration and pour it into something good. Don't let it keep you down." Angela grabbed Jane's hands as she saw her daughter finally nod. "You are a fighter. You get back out there - throw yourself into work. It'll be hard, but it'll help. I promise."

Jane took a deep breath as her mothers words swam over her. She was right. Living this way was terrible. She needed to find some way to move on. If nothing else, it would serve as a distraction from her own thoughts.

"You know I'm so proud of you, honey."

Jane offered a half smile and leaned into her mother, allowing herself one last moment to wallow in the emptiness.

* * *

Jane's head hit the pillow with a groan. She realized she had forgotten to charge her phone overnight, and slept through with no alarm. Her old digital clock read 9:02 AM. She was already late. Fumbling with the charger, she plugged in her phone and made her way to the kitchen. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the newspaper slid halfway through her apartments's front door. She moved to toss it to the pile of unread newspapers, reminding herself that she really should cancel her subscription, but decided instead to pull it over to the counter to read with breakfast._ Already late_, _might as well enjoy it._

She sighed and resolved to pouring herself some cereal. Work had been brutal this week. It was her third night in a row working undercover and it was starting to take its toll. But it was worth it. In the past four years she had risen through the ranks in Narcotics to finally become a team lead. No longer was she stuck doing stake outs for drug busts. She was becoming known for her talent in the interrogation room, finding ways to get even the sneakiest gang member caught in their own lie. It had been a tough few years, and a lonely one, but she had thrown herself back into work and never looked back. Despite never quite getting enough sleep and having a terrible caffeine addition, she was happy where she was. A few more months and she was ready to try to make her case for Homicide.

She yawned and pulled the newspaper towards her, unfolding the front page. She took a bite of cereal and blinked and she read the headline.

The spoon clamored to the ground as her eyes scanned the page.

PADDY DOYLE BEHIND BARS

Jane frantically pushed the bowl of uneaten cereal aside as she scanned the story. Doyle was in custody... He had turned himself in? Jane shook her head incredulously at the thought. After years of staying completely off the grid (Which Jane knew from personal searching during that first year), why would he turn himself in? Why now?

Running to the bedroom, she dove for her phone which had fallen from the nightstand after the barrage of messages and calls came in. She could see two missed calls from Cavanaugh followed by a text that just said COME FIND ME ASAP.

Jane yanked the phone and charger from the wall and got dressed in 30 seconds, her head a mess. _What does this mean? Would they bring Maura in to testify? Would she be pronounced safe with him behind bars?_

Jane barely remembered the drive to work. She barged into Cavanaugh's office breathlessly, attempting to apologize.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm sorry - my phone died so I missed my alarm."

"Hell of a day to oversleep," he said, his voice flat.

"I know, sir. The moment I saw-" Jane's impatience was getting to best of her. "What happened? He turned himself in? Why?"

Jane searched his face, trying to understand his expression. He seemed - frustrated? She had assumed the precinct would be filled with high fives and excitement. But as she turned her head to look at the bull pen outside of Cavanaugh's office, she could see sneaking glares towards them.

"What's going on?" She asked, more forcefully this time.

"Came in at 2 AM this morning. But he's not talking," Cavanaugh said with a sigh.

"He's not..." Jane begin repeating the words to herself, trying to make sense of it. "But he turned himself in!"

"I know. Says he only wants to talk to one person. Won't speak to anyone else."

Jane's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "Who?"

Cavanaugh paused, looking Jane up and down. He shook his head slightly, before meeting her eyes again, his voice somewhere between bemusement and accusation.

"You."


End file.
